A couple of years ago, I decided that we needed to honor Hart's 10th birthday in a meaningful way. That it needed to be bigger than just our immediate family. I initially thought that we were going to ask people to perform 10 random acts of kindness, in his memory. Then a few months later I thought, "Oh my gosh, everyone does that, and it's lovely, but it no longer feels like the right way to honor Hart."
In quick succession I contemplated and then dismissed the following (really awesome and completely practical) ideas:
- Hire a skywriter to write "Happy 10th Birthday Baby Hart" across the clouds
- Scatter billions of paper "Harts" across the world
- Go BASE jumping (in a really cute Hart-themed base-jumping outfit)
- Build a memorial pyramid
Then, over the summer, it came to me. During Hart's life and after his death, there was an urgency, a familiarity that erased the distance that often prevents people from sharing such affections. It was so beautiful and unbelievably comforting. So in honor of Hart's 10th birthday, I am asking everyone to say 10 beautiful, encouraging things to others. Things that you think, but are often too reticent to say. Things that may feel gushing or unrestrained, enthusiastic, extravagantly demonstrative or completely effusive. The idea is that people walk away feeling a little taller, a little more confident, with a clearer picture of the best that other's find in them. Empowered with the knowledge that others recognize the value in their character, accomplishments or tenacity.
Recently, I went to NYC with a friend for a whirlwind 24 hours. She was going to see a friend she hadn't seen in 27 years. Her friend and his wife were in the country for business (he, for the first time since high school), and it was the only chance for these old friends to get together. At the end of their visit, he told my friend how important she was in his life. That her (brief, high-school) friendship had changed the trajectory of his life. I was so overwhelmed by their reunion (even as a bystander trying to blend into the scenery) it was such beautiful, meaningful moment and cemented my idea for celebrating Hart's birthday! It is a rare and precious gift when someone gets to hear that they made an imprint on another's life, and how awesome if it happened more often!
At Hart's memorial service, a friend told us that, although Hart wasn't a survivor, he was a warrior. And while a warrior doesn't necessarily win the battle, he fights with honor, integrity, courage, compassion, and discipline. Honestly, I was caught off guard by his words. I would have preferred a survivor, even a dishonorable, scaredy-cat one with a bad attitude. But he said these words from a place of so much love and admiration, that I knew after I digested them, I would agree. It is in that spirit that I want people to pass on words from a loving place and honor what they see in others.
So, please help us celebrate Hart's 10th Birthday by telling 10 encouraging, meaningful, grateful truths to others and celebrate having such amazing people in your life!
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