Everywhere... love and memories

This morning, as I was running errands, I heard the song Everywhere by Michelle Branch. When the song was released in July 2001, I liked it. I even bought the CD (back before the days of downloading-I actually drove to the store and purchased it-I know, I know, the good old days!) Anyway, I enjoyed it, but it didn't change my life or sear my heart. But it has since become extremely meaningful to me.
While I was pregnant with Hart, I turned to music as a way to deal with all the emotions I was attempting to juggle. I would drive around for hours listening to music-very loud music. After Hart was born, I turned down the volume, but music was usually playing in the background of our lives. Soon after Hart died, the song, Everywhere came on. I was absolutely blown away. I got chills and was totally overcome with emotion. As I listened to the words, I felt like this song was written about Hart; it completely articulated what I could not. To this day, when I hear this song, I am blown away by how perfectly it expresses the huge emotions I feel about my amazing son!

Everywhere
Turn it inside out so I can see
The part of you that's drifting over me
And when I wake you're never there
But when I sleep you're everywhere
You're everywhere

Just tell me how I got this far
Just tell me why you're here and who you are
'Cause every time I look
You're never there
And every time I sleep
You're always there

'Cause you're everywhere to me
And when I close my eyes it's you I see
You're everything I know
That makes me believe
I'm not alone
I'm not alone

I recognize the way you make me feel
It's hard to think that
You might not be real
I sense it now, the water's getting deep
I try to wash the pain away from me
Away from me

'Cause you're everywhere to me
And when I close my eyes it's you I see
You're everything I know
That makes me believe
I'm not alone
I'm not alone

I am not alone
Whoa, oh, oh, oh

And when I touch your hand
It's then I understand
The beauty that's within
It's now that we begin
You always light my way
I hope there never comes a day
No matter where I go
I always feel you so

'Cause you're everywhere to me
And when I close my eyes it's you I see
You're everything I know
That makes me believe
I'm not alone
'Cause you're everywhere to me
And when I catch my breath
It's you I breathe
You're everything I know
That makes me believe
I'm not alone

You're in everyone I see
So tell me
Do you see me?
-Michelle Branch

As we were planning Hart's funeral, I realized that I wanted to have music playing during the receiving line after the service. I asked my dad to burn a CD with songs that were so meaningful to our family during my pregnancy and during Hart's life. Our beloved minister, Dr. Joan, arranged for the sound system and we were able to set it to replay when it reached the end of the CD.
Something happened that makes me smile every time I think about it. A little while after the music started playing, Dr. Joan came over to me and whispered, "I think there's been a mix-up. Is this the right music?" It was the right CD, but I can understand Dr. Joan's confusion. I have included the play list below, it didn't even occur to me that it might not be appropriate for church! All that mattered was that it was appropriate for our family and our celebration of an amazing life!

Accidentally in Love- Counting Crows
All For You-Sister Hazel
Angel Mine-Cowboy Junkies
Angels in Waiting-Tammy Cochran
Camera One-Josh Joplin Group
Everything Falls Apart-Dog's Eye View
Everywhere-Michelle Branch
Follow You, Follow Me-Genesis
Fool in the Rain-Led Zeppelin
Forever Young-Rod Stewart
Hanging by a Moment-Lifehouse
Hemorrhage-Fuel
I Bid You Goodnight-Aaron Neville
Tears in Heaven-Eric Clapton
Put Your Hand in the Hand-Ocean
Save Tonight-Eagle Eye Cherry
Boys of Summer-The Ataris
The Wind-Cat Stevens
What a Wonderful World-Louis Armstrong
You're Still the One-Shania Twain