Honest Beauty: A Love letter

This is the beautiful tribute my stepmother, Gloria, wrote for Hart. It touched me so deeply not only for the content, but also in the "knowing." Gloria has also experienced the devastating loss of a child. Her son, Michael, died when he was in high school and her loving support has meant more than she will ever know.

Hi Erin,

I know you asked for our messages yesterday, but for some reason it has been very difficult for me to put my feelings into words. I can't tell you how many times I have written things for you and torn them up because my words didn't convey what I wanted to say or how I wanted it to come across.

I think of Hart so often with peace, knowing he is with our Heavenly Father. I especially think of him when I drive by your old church and see how big and tall his and all the other trees planted for loved ones lost are now. I think of him every Christmas when your dad and I hang his handprint ornaments on our tree in his memory. I think of him when I drive to my friend’s house in Noblesville and past the cemetery where he is buried. I've even stopped a few times, but haven't been able to find his gravesite. But I didn't want to ask you the location because I was too embarrassed to admit I didn't remember. 

The day of Hart's burial was so heartbreaking and brought back many memories from the loss of my own son. I knew the devastation you and John were feeling. There was nothing any of us could say or do to take away your pain. I knew the hurt you both would feel, walking away, knowing it was the last time you would see his precious face in this life. It was the hardest or should I say strongest testimony to your faith, showing you knew Hart was back in God's care. 

I know through my studies of the Bible, God doesn't make mistakes. He has a plan for all our lives and has since the beginning of time. Throughout the Old and New Testament he or his promise to us for the ultimate reward of Eternity in Heaven with him never changes. We also see how he enlisted Chosen ones and through these most unlikely people worked his miracles. I believe Hart was a Chosen one and through his short life changed all our lives. I know my life changed watching him conquer the odds of making it through birth and by every moment he lived.

Both you and John have given us and your children the greatest example of faith and trust in making the decision, in the beginning, to put Hart's life in God's hands. Not knowing day to day what to expect with his diagnosis, you showed us what a Blessing his life was to you both. By accepting God's will for his life you were prepared to accept whatever challenges his life might bring and to endure the heartache you knew would come saying goodbye. 

I feel so blessed to have experienced God's miracle of Hart. I will never forget him and I too, celebrate his life. 

Love,

Gloria