Mimi's Musings

One of the reasons I asked my family to contribute their memories of Hart for The Cottage Cheese, was to get various perspectives of love and loss. Snapshots of his impact from the lenses of his siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. As I read my mother's (Mimi) contribution, I was so touched by her raw honesty and enlightened by the glimpse of the loss of Hart from his Mimi's eyes. 

Happy Birthday Hart! We all miss having you here with us but as Dr. Joan’s butterfly metaphor expressed poetically at your memorial service, you were here for a short time but did so much.

Your journey was not easy for you or your Mom, Dad and siblings.  There were decisions, thoughts, and prayers that guided your journey.  When you were about to come into this world no one thought you would make it.  You showed ‘em! Not only did you survive the voyage of birth, you stayed for 24 days to teach us all.  I, of course, was not immediately supportive of seeing this through to the end. Not for selfish reasons, but for the implications of the effect on your parents and siblings.  Data has shown that this can tear families apart and I worried about the long term for your brothers and sisters. 

I didn't live in the moment. When you arrived, everyone was very anxious  as to what to expect. No one, not even the medical staff thought you would be going home. You showed ‘em again.  And I began to watch and learn from you! I have never seen such love. I used to watch your Mom sit on the floor and cuddle you with her eyed closed, me thinking she was exhausted, she is my little girl, but realizing she was trying to savor every bit of time she had with you. Smelling you, feeling your breath, embracing the baby you were; not what was coming. I watched your brothers and sisters hold you, sing to you, play with you in the way they had with each newborn. This family loves babies! I watched your Dad tenderly pick you up when he came home from work to make his memories. 

I learned a lot about love, grace, wonder and prayer. I learned that a tragedy could not only tear apart, but also bring together a family in a way nothing else can.  I know you are very proud of your Mom and Dad, Number 1, 2 & 3 brother and 1&2 sister and tickled by sister number 3.  They are a family of strength, love, charity, and good will. I know you are a part of that family.
I love you Hart, Happy Birthday.

… I always watch for butterflies