100 Years

When each of my boys turned 15, I would burst into tears during the intro of Five for Fighting's 100 Years. It really resonated as a sort of itinerary of life's milestones and a reminder of how quickly time passes. A little more than a year and a half ago, when my youngest turned 16, I figured my inability/insatiable desire to listen to this song was over and I could go back to the oblivion of not thinking about time linearly. 

It didn't occur to me that it would affect me the same way with Hart. Part of what I find so moving about the song is looking forward to the amazing things the future holds, and that, at 15, it's all anticipation and excitement of what the future holds, but those things don't apply to Hart, so I assumed I wouldn't have the same visceral reaction. But....the other day, BAM! 100 Years started playing, and I lost it. It turns out it's triggering all my emotions for the very reasons I thought it wouldn't. 

None of these things apply to Hart and that really, really stinks! It makes me so incredibly sad that I  honestly don't have the words to describe how it feels. Obviously, it is not news that Hart won't have dreams and goals to reach for. That he won't get to experience love. That he'll never have a family of his own. That he won't get old. That he'll never get older. It's just that it hit me in a way that feels like it snuck in the back door while I wasn't looking, and it stinks-it really, really does!

100 Years

Five for Fighting

I'm 15 for a moment
Caught in between 10 and 20
And I'm just dreaming
Counting the ways to where you are

I'm 22 for a moment
And she feels better than ever
And we're on fire
Making our way back from Mars

15 there's still time for you
Time to buy and time to lose
15 there's never a wish better than this
When you only got a hundred years to live

I'm 33 for a moment
I'm still the man, but you see I'm a "they"
A kid on the way, babe
A family on my mind

I'm 45 for a moment
The sea is high
And I'm heading into a crisis
Chasing the years of my life

15 there's still time for you
Time to buy and time to lose yourself
Within a morning star

15 I'm all right with you
15 there's never a wish better than this
When you only got a hundred years to live

Half time goes by
Suddenly you’re wise
Another blink of an eye
67 is gone
The sun is getting high
We're moving on

I'm 99 for a moment
And dying for just another moment
And I'm just dreaming
Counting the ways to where you are

15 there's still time for you
22 I feel her too
33 you’re on your way
Every day's a new day

15 there's still time for you
Time to buy and time to choose
Hey 15 there's never a wish better than this
When you only got a hundred years to live