Love in Verse

During my culling of love and remembrance for Hart's 10th Birthday, I received this beautiful letter in the mail (the USPS delivered kind) from Steadfast Husband's lovely Grandmother.

Dear Ones,
Hoping all's going well for you and yours.
As I am not into videos, Ipads, tweets and such, I'll respond in my own way.
I have had this verse for many years; while the tense is wrong, the words are so true. Hoping you find meaning in it for you.

                                  I love you so,

                                        Grandma

God's Child and Yours -Unknown

"I'll lend you for a little time

A child of mine" He said - 

For you to love the while he lives 

and mourn for when he's dead. 

It may be six or seven years 

or twenty two or three 

but will you, till I call him back, 

take care of him for me?

He'll bring his charms to gladden you 

and, should his stay be brief, 

you'll have his lovely memories 

as solace for his grief. 

I cannot promise he will stay, 

since all from earth return 

but, there are lessons taught down here, 

I want this child to learn.

I've looked the wide world over, 

in search of teachers true, 

and from the throngs that crowd life's lane 

I have decided you. 

Now will you give him all your love, 

not think the labor vain, 

nor hate me when I come to call

to take him back again?

I fancy that I heard them say, 

"Dear Lord Thy Will Be Done" 

for all the joy this child will bring 

the risk of grief we'll run. 

We'll shelter him with tenderness, 

we'll love him while we may, 

and for the happiness we've known 

forever grateful stay. 

And should thy Angels call for him 

much sooner than we planned, 

we'll brave the bitter grief that came 

and try to understand.

Poppy Love

For Hart's 10th Birthday, I asked members of our family to share special messages or memories about him.  I am posting their beautiful expressions of love and remembrance here (in random order).
 My dad (Poppy) is an artist, a graphic designer by profession, so he felt it was only fitting to pay tribute to Hart in illustration form. I didn't open or read most of what was sent to me before preparing to post it-I wanted it to be like opening a present. Moments ago I opened the file my dad sent and was completely enchanted by the beautiful "gift" he sent.

Accidentally in Love...

Today is my favorite day of the year. I don't always remember that. Actually, any other day of the year, I would say that today is one of the two days each year that I look forward to with great trepidation and anxiety. Throughout the year, I hear November 15 and a heavy feeling envelopes me.  But when it's here, I remember. I remember that today is a celebration of an "accidental" life. A beautiful, amazing, full life. A life with purpose, that had an everlasting impact on countless others. A life in which every moment was so very treasured and certainly warrants celebration...especially today!


Happy Birthday to my beautiful baby boy! Today, Hart would have turned 10 years old. When I think back, there are memories that are so clear, so close, that I can almost reach out and touch them. Other memories are so fuzzy, that I am unable to bring them into focus and the harder I try, the further they slip out of reach. But I'm completely okay with that-actually I think that's how it's supposed to be. Sometimes, these memories come back into full focus in that nirvana right between sleep and awake. When I try to grab these memories and carry them into my conscious, clear memories, they slip away again. But I know they'll be back and I love the feeling that brings.


It also encourages me to depend on the memories of others, to talk about Hart, reminisce and share in a way I would otherwise not.  As a way to celebrate Hart's 10th birthday, I asked family members to share memories and thoughts about Hart. Over the next several days, I will share their beautiful, poignant  recollections.

So Humbled.....

I kept trying to figure out a way to retell this exchange in my own words. Silly me! I realized that posting the following facebook message exchange as it happened was a much better idea. There was no way I could convey  my friend's heart better than her own words!

Message from my friend:
Hi sweet girl! I wanted to send you a message because you need to know something very cool I am a part of because I was inspired by Hart. I have begun a photography business on the side and recently began volunteering for a national group called "Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep". This group takes photographs for families who have suffered the loss of a new born child. I was so moved at Hart's service by the beautiful pictures it planted a seed and I knew that some day I would do this. Today (March 2013) was my first chance to shadow one of the volunteers. Such a powerful experience. I just wanted to let you know that your son influenced me and who knows how many lives I will be able to touch as a result. Even though his time on this earth was a sprint and you so wanted it to be a marathon, God still used him to make a difference. I hope you and all of your littles ones are doing well!! Love, Mari
https://www.nowilaymedowntosleep.org/

My response:
Wow! I am so overwhelmed! What a beautiful thing to do and what an honor to Hart! Do you care if I share this with others? I am feeling so humbled and touched right now-you have no idea!! Everyone should be so fortunate to touch others in such a special, what a blessing Hart was and continues to be and what a tremendous blessing you are and will be to these amazing families!

Response from my friend:
I would be honored if this would move anyone else. Share freely as you see fit! I enjoy seeing you and your beautiful family on FB and the cottage cheese! :)

All the words I know feel much too small to describe the awe and gratitude I felt when I read this...

property of Mari Hammond Sandifer

Celebrating 10 Years: Remember to Use Your Words

This November 15 would have been my son, Hart's, 10th birthday. As the day approaches, I am struck by a myriad of polarizing (sometimes paralyzing) emotions.  I feel sad that he is not here to celebrate, to lavish with gifts, cake and birthday magic, I feel overwhelmed with joy for having known him, I feel sentimental recollecting all my memories of his life and I feel resolved to honor his amazing life.


A couple of years ago, I decided that we needed to honor Hart's 10th birthday in a meaningful way.  That it needed to be bigger than just our immediate family. I initially thought that we were going to ask people to perform 10 random acts of kindness, in his memory. Then a few months later I thought, "Oh my gosh, everyone does that, and it's lovely, but it no longer feels like the right way to honor Hart."


In quick succession I contemplated and then dismissed the following (really awesome and completely practical) ideas:

• Hire a skywriter to write "Happy 10th Birthday Baby Hart" across the clouds
• Scatter billions of paper "Harts" across the world
• Go BASE jumping (in a really cute Hart-themed base-jumping outfit)
• Build a memorial pyramid

 

Then, over the summer, it came to me. During Hart's life and after his death, there was an urgency, a familiarity that erased the distance that often prevents people from sharing such affections. It was so beautiful and unbelievably comforting. So in honor of Hart's 10th birthday, I am asking everyone to say 10 beautiful, encouraging things to others. Things that you think, but are often too reticent to say. Things that may feel gushing or unrestrained, enthusiastic, extravagantly demonstrative or completely effusive. The idea is that people walk away feeling a little taller, a little more confident, with a clearer picture of the best that other's find in them. Empowered with the knowledge that others recognize the value in their character, accomplishments or tenacity.


Recently, I went to NYC with a friend for a whirlwind 24 hours. She was going to see a friend she hadn't seen in 27 years. Her friend and his wife were in the country for business (he, for the first time since high school), and it was the only chance for these old friends to get together. At the end of their visit, he told my friend how important she was in his life. That her (brief, high-school) friendship had changed the trajectory of his life. I was so overwhelmed by their reunion (even as a bystander trying to blend into the scenery) it was such beautiful, meaningful moment and cemented my idea for celebrating Hart's birthday! It is a rare and precious gift when someone gets to hear that they made an imprint on another's life, and how awesome if it happened more often!


At Hart's memorial service, a friend told us that, although Hart wasn't a survivor, he was a warrior. And while a warrior doesn't necessarily win the battle, he fights with honor, integrity, courage, compassion, and discipline. Honestly, I was caught off guard by his words. I would have preferred a survivor, even a dishonorable, scaredy-cat one with a bad attitude. But he said these words from a place of so much love and admiration, that I knew after I digested them, I would agree. It is in that spirit that I want people to pass on words from a loving place and honor what they see in others.


So, please help us celebrate Hart's 10th Birthday by telling 10 encouraging, meaningful, grateful truths to others and celebrate having such amazing people in your life!